somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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