I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
