obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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