I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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