I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Michael Bay diarrhea
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
