WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
