just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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