Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
