wanna go halves on a baby?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
