Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Randomize
