He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
