can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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