Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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