i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
