he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
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Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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