they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
