i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize