is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
