I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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