I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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