i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
