I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
