I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
i am craving dick and cupcakes
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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