Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize