I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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