Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
