I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
We are two peas in an std pod
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
