fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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