I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Oh god it's open bar.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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