summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
