We should be called the Road Head Warriors
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize