I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
