part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
