Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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