i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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