Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
