I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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