do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
