I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
