Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I think pants incapable of making pants work
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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