Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
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