Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
