Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
