im gay
i know
yea but for you.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
God gave him joint rollers for hands
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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