everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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