If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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