I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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