As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
