The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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