yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Randomize
