Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize