you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
