thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize