Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
