I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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