Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
