I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
