I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
