That's intense
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
