Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize