you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
