Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
