Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
