id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
