You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Randomize