shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
