I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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